Monsters Live in My Front Yard

Last night, well, evening, i guess, Matt and I ventured out front to hook up Nehem's brand new highway to fun...an Elmo sprinkler. We got it all hooked up, striped the boy, and commenced the funness. Nehem was rather enthusiastic about this form of entertainment. He'd run excitedly around the outside of the 'water zone' and when the wind would blow some water spray his direction, he'd let out a little shriek and skedattle away. Finally, he warmed up to it a bit, and would go stand in the 'rain', get a chill and giggle out. He even got brave enough to walk up to the stream of water, turn his head and put his 'herr' in it. Herr would be Nehem for hair. He would then proceed to dart off, clapping and saying, 'Yay!!" It was rather enjoyable, until...

Matt was standing closer to the edge of the drive way and exclaimed something like, 'Kill IT!!'

I directed my attention to what he was speaking of, and to my horror discovered...an ant. And not just an ant, mind you, nope, it was the size of my foot. Really. Now i've seen red, furry, velvety ants before, but nothing this big. Ever. I, being the only one with shoes on, proceeded to walk towards it, then decided that this might not end as intended. I had images rushing before my eyes something akin to my walking up to said beast, lifting my foot high to avoid knocking into it before i came down for the kill, missing in some tragic misstep and it grabing my foot and knawing off my toes, one by one...then, i mustered up some courage, stepped down, lifted, and would you believe, it kept walking like nothing had even touched it. AAK! I stomped, repeatedly and the thing just would not die! All I can think of is that my child will surely come over thinking this looks fun, attempt to touch it and he will die a horrible death! Finally, per my husband's cool and collected direction, i placed my hoof over this indestructible thing, and twisted it into the concrete with all i had. It was pretty much nonexistant after that. I think there was maybe a leg or two left, but the rest was ground down to unidentifiable. Yikes.

So, as you can imagine, when the second one appeared, I had visions of red-orange faces, sitting in the grass at the edge of the pavement, waiting for the opportune moment to pounce on my nearly two year old and have a fine feast. But, alas, we only had the two visitors that had and unfortunate demise(for them at least).

And just so you know, Wikipedia said they are not ants at all, but female bugs in the wasp family, known for their painful sting. And their name...cow ants, also known as...this is good...cow KILLERS. I'm serious...because by the look of them, you'd think them capable of taking down a cow!