Nostalgia--How fitting...

This week over at iheartfaces the theme for the weekly challenge is nostalgia. Well, three years ago, as i write this, i was laid up in a hospital bed in full on labor. I had not eaten since breakfast, and i wouldn't get to eat again until around 11:30 PM(!!) the next night. That's right...Nehem turns the ripe old age of 3 tomorrow...August 25. And while that's not decades ago...it still brings on nostalgia for the time before i was a mom, and what i've learned since he came into my life, and how Matt and i have seen a whole new side of this world God created because of the little person in our house. Nehem's childhood also makes me revisit all sorts of times in my own youth. So, as we celebrate Nehem's birthday this week, here's a photo taken of him when he was just a mere babe, rolling around on the floor, before the days of running after him, when I still had a stationary model for photographing!

Two Weeks in a Row

Ok, so bubbles are fun, and Nehem agrees...so i managed and entry two weeks in row! I feel accomplished :)

Have you had fun with bubbles lately??
Check out how others have delighted in bubble fun over at iheartfaces.blogspot.com!!

Crazy, Silly, Funny??

My first ever entry in the i <3 faces weekly photo challenge...and i didn't have to look far to find something appropriate for the category, i think he's got it! Though, try not to look around here too much, i'm aware it's a barren wasteland of a blog. i'm working on that :)


Wanna see some other crazy, silly, funny faces? Head on over to iheartfaces.blogspot.com and let the giggles abound!

Park Time

We've had crazy July weather around here. Crazy like on Saturday, the high was around 78. Amazingly, abnormally, crazy. And it's still continuing! I'll take it...thanks! After attending a morning wedding, Matt took off to assist a friend in hanging a ceiling fan, so Nehem and I hit the park. He's a funny boy, my son, and refused to take off his shirt from the wedding...so I snuck in a t-shirt for later and off we went...anything to avoid a screaming fit(hahaha...not my son!!)

After he was sufficiently impressed with the water, he was ready to play, so I was able to (bribe) convince him to throw on the t-shirt and race for the playground.

This last one? Yeah, it's the face I see a lot...he's not grumpy, just deep in his own world. Here he's sailing a ship or something. Notice the little piece of wood in his right hand? That's his key. It unlocks everything. And if we lose that? Total devestation ensues and we must stop until a suitable replacement is discovered.

He's Already Insighful

We've got quite a bit going on right now. Summer always does seem busy, huh? Today, Matt and Nehem are on the official annual staff fishing extravaganza. I'm sure fun is being had by all. I heard last year the children's pastor wouldn't bait his own hook....Besides that, Matt's made a run up to Super Summer, he's been working in the wee hours writing Hebrews material, I'm working, of course, and now obsessed with playing with pictures when there's not more pressing things to do in what is my life...like changing the diapers on my nearly three year old who refuses to use the potty, and various other things i find that require my attention, or i'll just be honest...playing with pictures despite all that stuff.

On top of the normal family busy stuff, Matt's mom is going in for surgery on July 1st. She's been in and out of the hospital dealing with a blockage in her bile duct from her liver. I'm resting in the truth that she is held in the hands of her Creator. Please join me in prayer for a successful surgery and the easiest recovery ever.

When Nehem goes to visit, he asks if she's still sick. She tells him he makes her feel better. He says, "Yep, mmhmm!"

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In reference to the title of this post: Last night, the three of us were leaving to go to run a couple places. It was probably about 6:30. Sunshine was flowing thru the back door into the living room, among the other windows, that was shining particularly brightly. I was attempting to coral the child and he took note of the stream of light and proudly proclaimed,

"Look, Mama! We should splash in the sunshine!!"

He bound down the stairs and proceeded to do just that.

It looked like fun. Think i'll add it to my list of cheery things to do.

Five things Friday

I do still exist. There is much flowing in the way of creative energy in my brain, and for the life of me I can't get it into words...this is what happens to me when stress enters my world...more on that another day.



So, because i can, this is what goes here today:



5 things in my freezer:

-steaks in a box from my grandmother from months ago
-chicken
-cow in various forms
-brussel sprouts (thought i'd try them...now i'm afraid)
-ice (remarkable!!)



5 things in my closet:

-flip flops
-dumb bells
-the creative efforts of my two year old that I'd like to keep in memory of these days
-clothes that fit
-clothes that don't fit (happily, most are a bit large)



5 things in my car:

-Nehem's toys
-Nehem's car seat
-Nehem's juice cup
-Nehem's shoes (seeing the trend??)
-IPod



5 things in my purse:

-a diaper (unused)
-my current read (Jesus for President)
-colored pencils (mine, not Nehem's)
-point and shoot camera
-some of Nehem's Hot Wheels (they are everywhere)



5 things in my mind:

-July 1
-My husband is a good dad
-My dad is a good dad
-God is not surprised by things that surprise me...He knew the outcome of today before the world began. He's still on Plan A. In this I can rest.
-Love (always) wins.

Eight and a Half Years In...

I was disillusioned by what i thought love, marriage, sex was all about. And was lost, mad, hurt, angry, continue with the descriptive words, when i thought it had been missed or lost or taken away by our circumstances or whatever 'it' was that was keeping us from what i thought all this was supposed to look like.

I kept trying. I kept pushing. I kept forcing. I kept seeking. I kept controlling. I kept waiting to be loved. I was waiting for Matt to fulfill me, to be the movie star husband in the Oscar winning roll to hold me right, say it right, do it all right, so i could respond...right. And then I'd know how to be happy. I was seeking an illusion.

One of the biggest differences in how God paints marriage and how our culture paints it, is this: culture says marriage is to make us happy, God says its to make us holy. Our culture wants us to believe a healthy marriage consists of toe curling sex, every night, or maybe more...blissful walks in fields of flowers, maybe a dark cloud here or there that the happy couple grasps each other's hand and blink through and its over. That doesn't exist, and Matt is not capable of making me happy like that. He is only human. And I finally decided(not on my own, of course, God had to yell and hold up flashing signs) there is nothing I can do to guarantee a fulfilling marriage with my husband...
besides choosing to follow God's will for my marriage.

God said, "Do you love me? Then follow..."

And i did...often failing, i set out to honor Matt, even when he hadn't earned it. Is that how i can be more like Jesus? Isn't that the point here? I get so much from God--unearned. Learning to give to Matt in that way honors him and honors God. I glorify my savior when i submit to my husband. Ha---submit---after trying for so long to do everything but submit...inadvertently, of course.

At first, i thought it would leave me empty. I thought I wouldn't be getting anything from him, and i'll just be left. I thought, you know, the honoring God part would be good adn all, maybe He'll show me how to be happy honoring Matt, but i'd just be left...a doormat...but i was willing...without any promises from God of how i'd feel or what i'd get in return.

But something rather amazing has happened(shocking, i know), and I'm only now aware enough to begin putting it into words. When i stopped waiting for Matt to go first, when i stopped using a checklist to tell me when it was 'right' and i could be happy only after each item had been checked off(those items coming from a culture that told me what a marriage should consist of to elicit happiness), I found God filling me up with something so much better than fleeting, contrived happiness. I'm finding unspeakable peace. There's lasting joy and satisfaction in my far from perfect marriage that God wants to perfect.

I'm taking the burden off Matt to meet my unattainable goal to be fulfilled by another human being, and that doesn't leave me empty or unhappy, but freer and happier than ever. I'm not waiting for my feeling to lead me to love him, i decide to love him. and the feelings...they do come...overwhelmingly.

And it's all GOD. Spouses putting each other first isn't all it takes to heal a marriage. It's God, every single day.